If I had My life to live Over ( I thought I need to share this

I'd like to make more mistakes next time.

I'd relax, I would limber up. I would be sillier than I had been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I'm one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh. I've had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I'd have more of them. In fact, I'd try to have nothing else. Just moments one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.
If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go more dances. I would ride more merry go-rounds. I would pick more daisies.
Relax.

Nadine Stair
85 years old
Louisville, Kentucky

"रिस किन"?

रिस किन, अन्त्य हासो नै हो भने 

मनमुटाब किन, साथ सँगै बिताउनुछ भने ।। 

मन्दमुस्कानमा स्वर्निम संसार देख्छु म 

दुइ मुटुको मिलनमा स्वर्ग देख्छु म ।।

दुनियाँ स्वार्थी छ

दुनियाँ स्वार्थी छ थाहा थियो 

तर येती धेरै स्वार्थी थाहा थिएन 

बुझेकाले बुझाउन खोजे 

सुनेकाले सुनाउन खोजे 

न त मैले बुझे न त सुने 

पर्‍यो आफैलाई अनी बुझे 

अब म कहाँ खोजु निस्वार्थ संसार 

तिमी बिना को नै छ र मेरो आधार

It is better to learn before an accident......

Ouch, it happened within a second and crushed on myself, so stupid of me. This is what always happens in your life, you know the consequences of the activities you are doing, but you are not serious enough until it goes wrong. I knew that although I had a cover for this iphone I didn't liked it because it used to make my phone less attractive. Now I am just flattered how attractive it is after this crack.
After the accident I was thinking why didn't I carried with cover, but it happened now it's not going to come back in its initial stage. And this is how is the health of any person.
Everyday we think how can people smoke, take drugs, get addicted to alcohol although they know the consequences of being drug addicted,smoking or anything. But they still don't stop drinking, nor they stop taking drugs. This is so called confidence in life, we always think that this is not going to happen in my life until it happens for you. When you are sick you think there is no more reasons to quit your habits because you can't improve it. But this is wrong.
So, smart person is the one who learns and applies precautions before any accident, intelligent is that who applies precautions and learns after his/her first accident. But there are some persons who never try to learn nor try to protect themselves from happening bad. They think this is so called adventure, but it is not.. in my opinion. Taking risk for your own health and life is not adventure that is stupidity. This means you are not willing to listen the truth of life and neglect the truth or just denying it.
Please try to understand it is better to learn before an accident if not please learn from small accident before big one happens in life.

April 16..

April 16 is unforgetful day for each and every individual who proudly says he/she is a Hookie, who is Hookie fan, or who is related to man kind. It was the day on 2007 when Virginia Tech massacre took place. Altogether 32 individuals were killed, but along with them whole community's trust was crashed and were hurt. It was not a easy day for a whole world. Was just thinking yesterday night whose fault was that. 
April 16, 2007 I got a call from my parents, they were worried and eager to listen my voice to conform that I was doing well. Ya, I used to live in Blacksburg those days and work for Virginia Tech. This was one of the best example of profit of science and technology, since I was at my college 25 minutes apart from Virginia Tech I was not able to get any information about the massacare until I got call from Nepal by my parents and friends. 
Most of the people were criticizing about U.S culture and laws, there went a deep thinking about gun violence, gun laws and everything. At one corner and in little aspect some people were talking about U.S health system specially related to mental health issues. It's been 4 years after the massacare, but I still do think they were right there is a big gap in the U.S system for treating mental health issues. It is hard to find any sustainable program targeted by government for mental health illness. Most of the individual still think that mentally ill patients are not a real patient. But, they are real patient, they need to be cared in the same pace how we care for other critical ill patient.

नयन भित्र राख मलाई

मनको पिडा थाती राखी सुम्पिय तिमीलाई

दुनियाँको आँखा छली अप्नाय तिमीलाई

कता कता मद्येरात्मा झस्किन्छ यो मन

थाहा छैन किन तिम्रो नाउमा तड्पिन्छ यो मन ।।

दुनियाँ छ मेरो पछी म त तिम्रो पछी लागे

मारे पाप पाले पुन्ने मत अब तिम्रै भए

यति धेरै माया देउ संसार सारा भुल्न सकु

पिडा अनी ब्यथा बिना सपनिमा रम्न सकु

अन्धकारको परिबेसमा प्रकासको कड बनिदिनु

आकासको तारा होईन अनन्त सम्म हासो छरिदिनु

बिर्सिदिन्छु बिगतका पलहरु अङालोमा बाध मलाई

पोखिदिन्छु पिडा मनका नयन भित्र राख मलाई

आँशु

के हुन्छ १५ मिनेट धेरै सुते ?

धेरै पछी गहिरो सोचाइमा डुबे आज म तर आफ्नो बारेमा होईन अरुकसैको बारेमा सोचदै थिए। सुताइ अनी जीवन को आनन्द बीच गहिरो वार्तालाप हुदैथियो मेरो मस्तिस्कमा। गुलियो पनि धेरै भयो भने तितो हुन्छ । सुताइ तेति बेला सम्म राम्रो हुन्छ जतिबेला सम्म ज्यानले मागेको हुन्छ। तर धेरै भयो भने त्यो पनि राम्रो हुदैन, सबै कुराले। मन, मस्तिस्क अनी ज्यानलाई हानी हुन थल्छ। ज्यान्मा त हानी हुन्छ सबैलाई थाहा होला तर मन, अनी भाबनामा कसरी असर पार्छ आज थाहा पाउदैछु। आज मेरो दिमागले भन्दै थियो प्रेमी अनी प्रेमिका को बीच को झगडा को कारण बन्न सक्छ सुताइ। असल बुढा अनी बुढी बीच मा तगारो हुन सक्छ सुताइ, जिन्दगीको सबै भन्दा ठुलो गल्ति हुन सक्छ कुनै एक दिन को सुताइ

I tried to feel for you

 Celebrating 42 years of married life is a remarkable achievement and a testament to the strength of your bond. However, if sudden challenges arise, it signals a disturbance in the relationship that should not be ignored. My heartfelt prayers go out to both of you, urging you to find a way to start anew and be together once more.

Living single after such a successful marriage, especially at a stage in life when support and love are needed the most, can be challenging. Reflecting on your shared past can be a powerful tool to rekindle the warmth in your relationship. Recall the happy moments – the first date, the first gift, and all the joyous occasions you celebrated together. Visualize those moments when you held hands on the beach, discussing the plans for your life. Remember the Christmas eves filled with love and the anniversaries that celebrated the joy of being together.

Support each other through this difficult time, and it is likely that the happy moments will overshadow the challenges you face. Take the time to identify the root of the problem and work together to eliminate it from your lives. This effort will not only benefit both of you but also your family and those who care about you.

Sending love and prayers to both of you. Wishing you the best of luck in resolving your differences and rediscovering the love that has sustained you for 42 years. Remember, it's wise to think twice before making any life-altering decisions – it can make all the difference.

It hurts....

It does hurts when you are blamed. It's still hurting me, my heart is crying and tears are rolling down. There should be some reasons for my tears. Why don't you understand it dear. You are my best friend, we were near to our hearts sometime in our life. I know time has changed, its been years that I am not with you but my feelings are not changed. And please I am not changed. "Ya you are changed just as everyone, you are not my Smita sorry but thats the truth". The very first sentence that she used during our conversation after a long time. She claimed me that she was naked to me, then what about me dear was I not naked to you? Don't you know every aspect of my life, my past and my present. But can't you feel me dear, why can't you. At least I do remember our past, our friendship and think about you. But how could you blame me like this.... her anxiety went up, she was upset with me, I felt I had done great mistake in my life... but still I am not able to find my fault... I did everything that used to make her happy. Nothing helped.. in addition to harsh words I was showered with more words that she claims to be truth... but they are not .....at least not for me. 

"You are my friend to whom I entrusted my everything, you broke my trust Smita, you broke my trust, you broke it, you broke my friendship. It is means or not anything now, but you make me something that I was not, you hurt me and I just laughed... I laughed with you... I just do that. Everyone has right to hurt me and you are among them. It was my feelings that was crushed... my friendship to you that u crushed.... why Smita? Do you want me to burn myself ? My friendship never meant to you, I was a faggot, I was just a fun time for you who make you awake.... I never was your friend... I know it all.. I know it... you were all I had Smita.. you were all that to whom I spoke myself to and you did this to me... you did it knowingly..."

Such a harsh words from her.. I had never expected to hear.. but I heard, it hurt me so bad... I cried and cried and nobody listened not even you dear. Still I can see love in your words. Those are not your words... it's not you dear... please take your words back and forgive me if I had hurt you unintentionally. I can't handle these words... I can't.. please I can't... oh my god this is not right..... it hurts me... you mean to say that I don't have any emotions... I don't have a heart to feel the truth... I don't respect the true friendship between you and me... please dear don't do this to me........

I want you to be happy... I don't want you to burn... do not want you to be hopeless....Only thing I do is I do care for you... I think about you ... I do love you... but can't express it... you are my best friend, please dear I didn't used you, you were there to share the feelings not for the fun, you are always my friend you know that from your inner heart. 
Sorry.... 
Aanshu (April 1st 2011)