Every individual has something to say about 2020. It had leave a great dent in everyone’s life. That dent might be a positive or negative and I will leave up to you to reflect on what kind of dent you have. For us as a couple, 2020 has given us a heavy wound that might heal over the time, but the scar will never go away. It was a painful year from which we learned a lot from each other. We learned how to survive in our deepest sorrow, and we learned how to support each other. Our love for each other grew stronger and stronger.
A piece of my heart is taken so far away that it will never be found. I guess this is what growing older means, learning how to survive day by day and along with that learning, piece of you is falling every day. We lost our child. Our little Asmi was so tiny that most of our friends and families did not even noticed that she exists in our life. She is not around us, but she taught me great deal about life. Asmi was born too early, her heart stopped during the delivery. She was so tiny that our 21st technology was not able to keep her alive. For a scientific community this is what I am going to request, please focus more on maternity health and prenatal care. There is a need for more research on miscarriages and early pregnancy loss so that there will not be another Smita and Ananta, who would never have to go through the loss we went through.
There is always a hope, after every storm there is a silence and after every silence there is a rainbow. I am waiting for that rainbow to form again. I want to say goodbye to 2020 and I will remember 2020 for sure. Year 2020 will remind me that I became a mom. I learned what unconditional love is. I loved you dear Asmi with my all heart and I will love you forever. You are gone but not forgotten. Your mom and dad will love you every second of our lives.
I learned how to come out of loss and live for others. I learned how to smile when there is no option left other than to smile. I learned how to wake up in the morning and find a reason to move on when there was no will to wake up.
I wanted to share our story of loss because I want to let every woman who had a loss or miscarriage that they are not alone. Every loss is a loss no matter how far you were in pregnancy. Please come forward and talk about it with your loved ones and your friends. Look around, look for help if you need any. Every individual cope differently, if you have a loved one who is going through a loss, please try to understand them, support them. Give them a space if you must, do not let them go if you must. Understand them, support them. Thank you for my family and friends who supported us during our hard time and helped us from falling apart.
Welcome 2021, another year to learn and expand your horizon of love and intelligence.
Last but not the least, a message for all those who ask every married couple when they are planning to have kids, please mind your own business. It is none of your business when a couple are having kids, it is personal. Before you ask that question, please keep in mind that couple or individual might not be able to have kids due to health reasons, they may have just spent thousands of dollars and spent uncountable hours trying to conceive but still not able to harvest one embryo, that couple or individual may not want to have kid, they might have just lost a kid without you knowing, and they might be just happy with one kid. There are thousands of reasons why someone does not have a kid or do not want more kids, but there is one reason why you ask; it is you do not know how to mind your own business. Please be sensitive, think twice before you ask anything.
There are lots of broken hearts around you, try not bruise more if you cannot help in healing.
